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If you define yourself by others’ thoughts, it’s sure time to stop

Truth from the Trenches
By Melissa Hart

My text alarm went off and I read a message from a friend: “Look at the comment on your blog, it’s not nice.” I looked – someone had called me a really naughty name.

My first reaction? I laughed. Why? Because I’ve been in this business long enough to know that not everyone agrees with what I write and there are a lot of people who simply don’t like me.

Having been a columnist for 13 years, I’ve ticked off more than a few people with my conservative views. Within the varied opinions of the farming community, there are folks who have not liked my views on homosexual cowboy movies, stay-at-home moms and llamas. And I’ve learned it is okay.

My skin was thin when I first began writing my opinion columns, but it has become much thicker because I know one thing: People are fickle. It’s a fact of life. One day they will agree with you and the next, they want to rip your head off. One day they are singing your praises and the next they are slandering your name.

Some folks enjoy rubbing elbows with you when they think you might have the slightest bit of influence, and then push you away when they learn you’re just a lowly underling. It’s not pleasant, it’s not pretty, but it’s just the way people are and I’ve come to accept it.

This phenomenon is no respecter of people; it really doesn’t matter who you are, at one point in your life you will experience the fickleness of man.

But what difference does it make? Will this guide you in your career choice? Will you let it dictate how you perform at your job? Will you allow people to influence your self-security until it makes you do crazy things?

If you get your value from what others think, they will ultimately define you – and that is a scary place to live your life. Rising up in the morning and living your day out by what others think, say and do will only create more insecurity deep inside of you. It will cripple your decision-making skills, your ability to evaluate your actions and basically give you a scarce root that will not support any growth.

But if your value comes from our Creator, then what others think means absolutely nothing. Used-cow salesman, farm wife, pig farmer, beef producer,  fitter extraordinaire, writer, herdsman, sire analyst, auctioneer, pedigree reader or calf feeder, it doesn’t matter who you are or what others say about you – YOUR value is priceless. You have been crowned with dignity by God.

Did you get that? He crowned you with dignity. He didn’t just give it to you, He put it on your head to wear as a crown for everyone to see!

There is nothing about you that can make you unworthy in God’s eyes and that, my friend, is simply enough. Why? Because it’s the truth, and none of us have to believe it in order for it to be true – it just is.

The views and opinions expressed in this column are those of the author and not necessarily those of Farm World. Readers with comments for Melissa Hart may write to her in care of this publication.

8/18/2010