While the county fair season is winding down and we all converge on the 50-yard line, there is a  sweeping epidemic that has and will remain unspoken: Stinky adolescent boys.

Yes, that’s right – when you comb the aisles at any livestock barn at the county fair, you will not only see great cows, hogs, steers and horses with sparkling displays and pushed up packs, you will also see moms fighting with their 12- and 13-year-old boys about cleaning up.

When they walk in the door from football or soccer practice and you turn up the flow on your portable oxygen tank, you know there is a problem that needs a solution.

Let’s face it, boys at this tender age between boyhood and a the teenage years  have their own signature scent. Yes, there are some who have been taking daily showers and putting on deodorant since they were eight years old (and don’t you wish your son was one of them!), but there are a herd of boys out there who are still trying to get the hang of a daily shower and would rather pass under a sprinkle of water on a weekly basis, all in the name of conservation.

You can spot these boys a mile away. Their idea of hair care is a dirty John Deere hat, their arms are continually filthy because when their mom tells them to wash their hands before dinner they obey – but never think twice about the grime between their wrist and elbow – and Axe Body Spray is their friend.

Their idea of getting cleaned up is putting on a clean shirt – maybe – and fogging themselves with Axe. And, why not? Axe is marketed to young men as the substitute for a shower. What 13-year-old wouldn’t grab onto that gimmick?

They have honed in on the substitute shower sales pitch like they’ve jugged down the marketing genius of throwback Mountain Dew made with real sugar.

As we embrace football season and riding home from the gridiron in a closed vehicle with a sweaty linebacker, or when we enter the winter indoor sports season where every sweat molecule on every boy screams with stink, my advice to mothers of sons whose signature scents are offensive to everyone who gets within five feet of them: Buy a case of Axe and keep a can handy at all times.
Get the fogging technique down and enjoy the game.
Believe me, for everyone involved – it’s just the right thing to do.

The views and opinions expressed in this column are those of the author and not necessarily those of Farm World. Readers with questions or comments for Melissa Hart may write to her in care of this publication.