It’s a tough job being a cool mom at 50 years old. I try every day to keep my coolness despite the constant reminders from my children that I am not, in the least bit.

I was told by a cool Canadian fashionista girlfriend that a pair of ripped jeans would take 10 years off my life. So I decided to take her advice and I went in search of a cheap pair of ripped jeans.

While searching through the clearance rack for my coolness, I was told by one of my children, "You cannot rock ripped jeans, Mom." At that point – because I couldn’t find any jeans for less than $20 – I decided to save my money.

Another one of my cool tricks is to fist-bump when something great happens, but my kids always leave me hanging. Michigan State could win the national championship and I think they would still let me hang my fist out there without even a slight bump. They just don’t get it.

And then this: I told my kids I was getting five more pullets to add to my poultry empire. My daughter said, "What are you talking about? What the heck is a pullet?"

I explained it is a young chicken that is just about to start into egg production. Her reply was, "Then why don’t you just say chicken?" And I told her I was just trying to be cool and use the correct terminology.

Later on that afternoon while I was out getting my pullets – aka chickens – we had the following exchange while texting. I had asked her to pick up a couple of things on her way home from work.

Me: Never mind, I’m going to stop and get it on my way home from getting the chickens.

Me: Pullets.

Her: Just stop. No one knows what you’re talking about.

Me: U do!

Her: But no one cares what you call them. You sound like you’re trying to be cool.

Me: Pullets ARE cool Sarah.

Her: Maybe in chicken world where people are obsessed with chickens.

Me: Regardless, Your mom is cool. #word

Her: You just got less cool by saying #word

Me: #truth

Her: Please stop.

One of these days, they will appreciate my cool factor.

The views and opinions expressed in this column are those of the author and not necessarily those of Farm World. Readers with questions or comments for Melissa Hart may write to her in care of this publication.