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Flail chopper probably not the donation college was looking for
 
Truth in the Trenches
By Melissa Hart
 
It had been a long day in the show ring in Stillwater, Okla., and my husband, my co-worker, and I were headed out to eat when Bobby’s phone rang with a strange number. I didn’t think he would answer it, but he did. And by the end of the call, I’m sure the caller was wishing we would have just sent it to voicemail.
Bob explained he was a parent of a Hillsdale College student and was calling to solicit money from other parents of Hillsdale College students. It was parents’ weekend at the college and of course, all the moms and dads from across the country had flooded southern Michigan to spend time with their student and honor their obligatory fundraising efforts.
Because Bob was on the speaker in the car, he was able to enjoy conversation with two former dairy farmers with a sense of humor. Bob was a U.S. Attorney from South Carolina and his daughter was a senior at Hillsdale College majoring in rhetoric and debate. First off, that’s a real program of study? I had no idea.
He was a friendly guy and wanted to know more about our son and why we would not be attending the parent’s weekend festivities. Other than being out of town, we explained that our son was a veteran and not the normal Hillsdale College co-ed and that we were sort of beyond the years of attending our student’s college events.
Then Dave started to pepper Bob with questions. Hearing he was from South Carolina, Dave asked if he knew former Congressman Trey Gouty? And in fact, Bob said they worked together and were friends and colleagues. Dave was on a roll and then started to probe into programs of study at Hillsdale. Always having a dream of being a welder, Dave asked if Hillsdale College had a welding program. Bob busted out laughing and said he did not think that was offered at the Ivy League school but that he would suggest it the next time he had President Arnn’s ear.
Knowing he had a mission to complete, Bob began working his way into asking for a donation. I think he knew what the answer would be, but he had to ask, and he did. The car went silent, then Bobby said, “Bob, we are former dairy farmers, and I’m not sure if you know this, but dairy farmers are asset rich and cash poor. But I have a flail chopper sitting in the corner of the barn that we don’t use anymore if you’re interested.”
Bob responded, “Well, I think we will pass on the chopper, but you guys have been the best call I’ve had all night. Thanks for the laughs and have a good night.”
Unless Hillsdale College decides to add welding or animal science to their college curriculum or the price of scrap metal skyrockets, they won’t be needing our flail chopper and I’m confident we won’t be hearing from Bob again anytime soon.

10/27/2020