Fighting over a piece of pie or cake was a normal circumstance in our house. Someone always took the bigger piece and then I would hear the quintessential cry of every child: “That’s not fair!”

As a young mom, I had no solution until I watched a more experienced mom handle this common situation as she said, “Billy, you cut the cake; Bobby, you pick which piece you want.”

And of course, what happened then? Billy was meticulous in his cutting skills, making sure there wasn’t a millimeter’s difference in the size of the two pieces of cake. I was stunned and amazed at how well this trick worked, and began to use it as often as I could.

Fairness seems to be something we all want. We want a level playing field, and we want everything to be fair and balanced. And when it’s not, we play the victim card. But haven’t we lived enough life to know that everything is not fair?

It was a beautiful, sunny day on July 4 when I stood in a barn at the Erie County Fairgrounds and let the activity of the day pass by while I was treated to 15 minutes of encouragement from a dairy farmer. I shook Jeff True’s hand, a Brown Swiss breeder from New York, as I introduced myself and told him I had been praying for him.

Jeff has been battling pancreatic cancer since he was diagnosed a few months ago. I asked Jeff a battery of questions to find out just exactly how he was able to continue dairy farming while enduring the rigors of cancer treatment. His quiet, kind, and joyful demeanor instantly gave me peace as he answered my questions.

As a man with a farm and a precious family, this cancer diagnosis wasn’t fair. He was young, with so much more life ahead of him. But fairness didn’t even enter our conversation.

It was obvious he was dependent on God for everything, which gave him a heavenly perspective on life. He told me that life is precious and it’s a shame we allow our difficult circumstances to define us. While farming has played an integral role in his life, Jeff says that in the end, when we leave this Earth, it’s just a farm.

As I walked away from a refreshing, soothing, perspective-correcting visit with a husband and father who is looking death straight in the eye with a wagging finger and a defiant “not so fast” attitude, I was changed.

Life is too short to get hung up on career identities, generational obsessions, and failures that seek to destroy us. A thorough evaluation of the importance of people over things and relationships over achievements is a great place to begin to adjust how we spend our brief time here on Earth.

The views and opinions expressed in this column are those of the author and not necessarily those of Farm World. Readers with questions or comments for Melissa Hart may write to her in care of this publication.