It is county fair season across the Midwest. Like the people who attend them, county fairs come in all shapes and sizes. Some are large and some are small. Some are in good shape, while others are in bad shape. Over the years I have been to some great county fairs and I have seen some very sorry excuses for a fair. So here are a few tips to help you evaluate if you are at a good county fair or not.
10. There are more pickup trucks in the parking lot than BMWs. County fairs close to larger cities tend to attract an unsavory lot that drive fancy cars or SUVs, sport gaudy body jewelry, turn up their noses as they walk past the livestock barns, and never go in the 4-H buildings.
9. The pork chops sold by the county pork producers are at least ½ in thick. As a general rule, the thicker the pork chops the greater amount of pork production that takes place in the county. A corollary to this is the amount of pride with which the chop is served. If they drop a 2 inch thick chop on your plate and say with a smile, “This is the best darn pork chop in the state!” you know you are in hog heaven.
8. The 4-H building is bigger than the commercial building. I have been to some fairs that had so many hot tubs, satellite TV, insurance, and jewelry exhibits that I thought I was at a flea market. At my own county fair, the exhibition hall is air conditioned; the 4-H building is not. This shows where their priorities are.
7. There are more people in the stands at the livestock sale than in line for the midway rides. Let’s face it, what is a better way to spend your time at the fair, supporting and encouraging the young people who will be the leaders of the community in the next few decades or placing your body in a mechanical contraption that spins you around and upside down until you lose that Philly-beef sandwich with peppers and onions you ate earlier.
6. The County Fair Queen knows what a heifer is. Over the years I have had to do a number of radio interviews with county fair queens. Some very articulate and intelligent young ladies, and some were as dumb as a box of rocks. In some counties, the judging is based on brains while in others it is based on beauty. There are actually some counties where the queen has never been to the fair before.
5. Local churches and service clubs run the food stands. A good county fair is a community event. Thus, having local organizations run the food stands is a way for the community to be part of the fair and a way for these groups to earn money. It is also a way for the money to stay in the community. They also make the best food. For some reason Methodist church women make some of the best fried chicken around.
4. It takes you longer to walk through the buildings and barns than it does the midway. Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against carnival rides and other midway distractions. But, at some fairs, the amusement rides dwarf the rest of the fair. A county fair is something unique and special and is more than just rides and colored lights.
3. The cotton candy comes in three sizes regular, Monster, and gargantuan. I live in a family of cotton candy connoisseurs, while I am immune to the allure of spun sugar. I am, however, required when passing within 10 miles of a county fair to go to that and purchase the largest bag of cotton candy I can find. Until recently this was the monster bag. Now, however, some enterprising carnies have started selling the gargantuan bag. This is a hefty trash bag stuffed with the sticky, gooey confection.
2. During the first hour you are at the fair you run into 5 people you know who are not family. As said before, county fairs are community events; they always have been. Spend some time people watching at your fair and you will see neighbors greeting neighbors, teachers seeing students, and, in general, people socializing and calling each other by their first names.
1. Finally, the number one way to tell you are at a good county fair ... You smell the animals before you smell the food.
Livestock is what makes a county fair unique. In this age of confined feeding operations and biosecurity, it is refreshing to walk through a county fair barn and hear the grunts, squeaks, squawks, and bleats of the animals and to take in their unmistakable aroma.
With animal rights nuts on the attack, it is important we celebrate animal agriculture every chance we get.
This farm news was published in the Aug. 1, 2007 issue of Farm World, serving Indiana, Ohio, Illinois, Kentucky, Michigan and Tennessee. |
