Background Scripture: Genesis 29

Devotional Reading: Psalms 91

The story of Jacob, Rachel and Laban is not one that we can use as a model for marriage today.

Polygamy, wife purchase and concubinage are no longer part of the marriage picture. In Jacob and Rachel’s time, parents wanted as many children as possible for economic security. Today, our concern is with birth control and we recognize that a multiplicity of children severely taxes family economics.

Nevertheless, their story has something to teach us that is still relevant in the world in which we live. In leading our “Fit To Be Tied” premarital seminars at our church, we dealt with the problem of marital disappointment by trying to lead the couples to examine and communicate to each other their marital expectations. The time to confront and deal with marital disappointment is before it takes place.

No warranties

This is true not only of marital disappointments, but all life’s disappointments. All disappointments are tied to our often-unrealistic expectations.

For example, if we expect that our spouse will cater to us as one or more of our parents did, we are bound to be disappointed. And, if we believe that doing the “right thing” guarantees the fulfillment of our desires, we are in for a rude awakening.

The day on which I am writing this column is Sept. 11. Lots of people still have not been able to accept that a just and loving God would not have prevented 9/11 from taking place in a nation that proclaims, “In God We Trust.”

To expect God to wrap “true believers” in plastic “popcorn” and yank us out of harm’s way is an unrealistic expectation. A world built on that principle is inconceivable. God would be loved and obeyed only because each believer would have a written warranty. In fact, with that kind of promise, there could be no faith on our part, nor grace on His.

Remember in Job how Satan replies after God asks, “Have you considered my servant Job, that there is none like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, who fears God and turns away from evil?” Satan asks: “Does Job fear God for naught? Hast thou not put a hedge around him and his house and all that he has … Thou hast blessed the work of his hands, and his possessions have increased in the land. But put forth thy hand now, and touch all that he has, and he will curse thee to thy face” (Job 1:8-11.).

Dangerous, unpredictable, tragic and devastating though this world may be, it is still a better place – the right place – than a world micromanaged by God.

His old ways

When Jacob discovers Laban’s terrible deceit, his reaction was a lot less bitter than mine would have been: “What is this you have done to me? Did I not serve with you for Rachel? Why then have you deceived me?” (29:25).

The remarkable thing about the story of Jacob is that, deceived and cheated by his Uncle Laban, he did not resort to his old ways. Knowing so pointedly what Jacob was while still with Isaac, Rebekah and Esau, we might have expected him to cry, “Well, that’s what I get for trying to be a better man. I thought you were going to be with me, Lord!”

So Laban, who operated on the same ethical level that Jacob did back home, proposed that Jacob finish out the marital week with Leah (the Old Testament equivalent of a honeymoon) and then he would also give Rachel to him as well. Of course, he’d have to work another seven years to pay for her, but Jacob accepted it.

There is irony here, isn’t there? Jacob the sly manipulator has been outmaneuvered by his own uncle. But, instead of scheming to get back at Laban, Jacob turns his disappointment into a challenge. A little girl fell down on the sidewalk and skinned her knee. Turning to her mother she said, “Wouldn’t it be wonderful if all the world would be cushioned?” Actually it is – and it is called grace.