55 Years And Counting From The Tractor Seat By bill whitman We often refer to agriculture being the backbone of America and when we’re honest with ourselves, we (in agriculture) all know that the strength of our family farms are the women. Every successful farm I know of either depends on or has depended on the women who are central to the workings of their individual operations. Many years ago, I worked at a farm doing whatever they could have a 11-year-old through 15-year-old boy help them do; it was Helen Hann who held things together. She took care of her husband, Chuck, who had heart issues and their only son Chris. These folks meant so much more than I’m sure they ever knew to me. Helen was also the secretary of the middle school I attended and would occasionally bring me in to talk and make me feel welcome on their farm because often I felt I was a nuisance. She knew that I looked up to her son who was in his early 20’s and suffered picking me up for DeMolay meetings and going out for fast food with his friends. To this day, I think of Helen and the Hann family fondly and thankfully. During so much of my life, most wives and mothers not only did whatever was needed on the farm/ranch, but also held a full-time job to supplement the family income, often making the difference between survival and failure. I am reminded of a neighbor’s wife and mother who worked until retirement at 63 and never cashed her own payroll check. She lived frugally and had no idea of how well off they were until her husband passed. Another neighbor’s farm was financially managed by the wife and mom and, I know for a fact, saved that farm more than once. And when I think of the perfect partnership, I think of Dick and Lois. Lois is awesome and because she can fill in when Dick has health issues, they, in their advanced years, are able to maintain a cow herd, three times the average herd size in Indiana, keep 30 or more breeding ewes, horses and donkeys in a continued sustainable way. I know in my own life and several friends’ families, it is the spouse who believes in her husband when no one else does and gives emotional support unequaled anywhere. The difference makers in a very real way. In a day when so many farmers have reached the end of themselves, just that touch… just that look can make the difference. When I watch young farmers on YouTube, the most successful farms are those where couples work together, combining their strengths to build a foundation strong enough to withstand challenges from every direction. Too often, when a farmer marries a mate from the city, there is no way to prepare for the long days and nights, the big bank account that all too often disappears with red numbers taking place and “hoping” for next year. I often have said that there’s a reason why farmers and ranchers still fill the pews on Sunday… mostly referring to our dependence on the weather but it’s quickly being overtaken by marriages in crisis. If I can suggest two things. First, involve your mate in the day-to-day activities in the farm as well as operationally, giving them real responsibility so they feel invested and a true partner in the business. Secondly, and perhaps most importantly, take time ever so often to let your mate know how important they are to you. In our house, for over 25 years it’s been a surprise and unexpected “I love you” which always gets my wife to give me a big smile, no matter how sour her mood. Just say “I love you,” sometimes, often times, it’s the glue that holds things together in the hardest of times. Horse Sense: I recently took a good crack to the head and sadly it took me two days to realize that I was lucky as it could easily been much worse. I learned the true meaning of “Praise God in all things.” IndianaAg@bluemarble.net |
