Instructions:
Slam the Ramen noodle packet on the floor a few times to break up noodles really fine. Use 1/4 bag of tortilla chips and crush them fine. Save the tortilla bag to use as the container for making the burrito.
Crush the 10 saltine crackers. Pour the crushed ingredients into the chip bag; mix well.
Add the dry mix refried beans and tuna, stirring in well. These items will help stick the ingredients together.
Pour the 8 ounces of hot water into the bag. Put on gloves to squeeze the bag, to mix the hot ingredients, then roll it up really tight. Wrap the rolled bag in newspapers, then wrap it in your blanket.
Let it lay for 15 minutes or so. It will set up like a solid burrito log. Cut the bag open, and you can decorate this burrito and add extra flavors by pouring on some jalapeno cheese spread, packet of mayonnaise salad dressing and some minced jalapenos.
Sausage Variety
Use chopped summer sausage instead of tuna. Don’t use crackers this time, but do use the rest of the ingredients as above and follow the same directions.
These recipes were created and submitted to me by a prisoner who goes by the name of Donnie. Donnie and I are acquainted by mail and phone, as I’m planning to write about his life. His hobbies in his previous life were fishing and bank robbing.
At age 39, he has robbed more banks than John Dillinger and has excused himself for brief periods from a county jail and a state prison.
I’m hereby declaring Donnie a trustworthy Skinny Cook and fisherman, and an interesting pen pal (the Indiana Correctional System has declared him not so trustworthy in most categories).
Readers with questions or comments for Dave Kessler may write to him in care of this publication.
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