Instructions:
Put some Doritos on your paper plate and mash them with the heel of your hand. Spread some baked beans over the Doritos.
Hot dogs are the preferred meat for this picnic, but I have also used leftover chicken and leftover meatloaf. Cut the hotdog into bite-size pieces and lay them over the Doritos and beans.
The original patio picnic on a paper plate occurred when I had some Provolone cheese in the fridge. You won’t get arrested if you use some other type of cheese, but do put cheese on the top of the ingredients.
Put a couple of absorbent paper towels over the plate before sticking it in the microwave. The wattage of microwave ovens vary, so the cooking time may need a little experimenting. Start with 1:30 or 2 minutes, then check to see if the dish needs another zap or two.
Be sure to put the paper towels over the plate, as the hot dogs and the beans may make a pop or two and otherwise get debris on the inside of your microwave. It’s easier to toss out the used paper towels than to spend time cleaning up your microwave.
If this fails to bring on spring, just keep repeating the picnic every day until the sun shines. To jazz up to an even stronger tactic, be sure to have a nice ice cream sundae for dessert.
Your neighbors may think you’re a little bit nuts sitting out on your patio covered with snow. But they’ll thank you when the warm sunshine finally melts the winter away.
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