As I write this, I’m remembering this morning 37 years ago when my parents nudged me awake to tell me my oldest brother had been killed in a car accident.

 

That moment changed our lives forever. The feelings over the next days and weeks were unforgettable. I can still remember the sick feeling in my stomach that day as we moved through the grieving process one awful moment at a time. Losing a baby during childbirth and then losing another son at 19 years old would be enough to call it quits in any marriage. And the divorce stats are in the favor of couples who have lost a child or have been through a tragic event in their family. But in June my parents will celebrate 61 years of marriage.

 

Am I bragging? Maybe. But more than that, I’m pointing out that staring the impossible in the face can yield destruction or it can create an opportunity to reap a harvest, if we do not give up. I wouldn’t go back to those early ’80s for love or money those were difficult days in our family and I’m sure even more intense for my parents, as they learned to live without their son who brought so much joy, laughter and adventure into their lives. There were tears, desolate moments of grief and inconsolable dark days. Doubts, questions and looking at the weeks and months of their lives. What was the purpose? Why did this have to happen to them? What good could ever come from the death of two sons?

 

But in the midst of their grief they never overlooked their other three children who were left. They continued to love, support and cherish our moments. They never hid away from our events that I’m sure were painful reminders of what could have been.

 

They never told us they were too overwhelmed with grief to celebrate our accomplishments, and they took great pride in everything we did. Well, almost everything. They didn’t shy away from discipline, either. When we stayed out too late or didn’t take care of business with school, they continued to make sure we knew what was what. 

 

These two people had every reason to give up. But they didn’t. Through the highs and lows, they chose to focus on what they had left. Through better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, they chose to stick together.

 

Was it easy? No way. Was the pain worth it? I sure hope so. Are you in that place today? Are you feeling the pressure to run and hide? To give up on the tough circumstances that are staring you in the face?

 

Farming is a tough profession and not for the faint of heart. Don’t trade in what you have today for the relief of an enticing tomorrow. Don’t miss what’s in front of you today because of a loss from yesterday. Tuck the good days away in your heart and bring them to life when the bad moments are too much to bear. Better days await you, I promise.

 

And whatever you do, do not grow weary in doing good, for at the proper time you will reap a harvest, if you do not give up.

The views and opinions expressed in this column are those of the author and not necessarily those of Farm World.